Tuesday morning, we headed down for our embryo transfer as planned. Both Arthur and I had been relieved on Sunday not to get a call from the lab, so we were both in fairly high spirits and eagerly anticipating the transfer.
We knew there was a lot of construction going on in the area of the clinic, but we have relatives who live in the area and had successfully guided us through it with no major issues when we’d gone down for my egg retrieval on Thursday. We were not as lucky on Tuesday. Even though it was just a mild traffic jam, we were fifteen minutes late to the clinic, and I was absolutely freaking out. I hate being late, and of course, I was nervously wondering what our final report looked like with our embryos.
When we got to the clinic, everyone reassuring us that it was fine, we weren’t that late, we both got changed and Dr. E came in to talk to us. As soon as he handed me the photo of the two embryos he planned to transfer, my heart sank. The photo had my name, the date, and then: “Cavitating morula, cavitating morula”.
18 embryos, and not a f*cking full-on blastocyst in the bunch?! I thought. It was not a proud moment. I knew I should be grateful we had something to transfer. I knew I should be calm and trying to keep my stress levels low for the transfer, but I was so mad when I saw it that I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes.
Dr. E, who I’m pretty sure was anticipating exactly this reaction, sat down and gently pointed out that my embryos have more or less lagged slightly behind in the other cycles I’ve done, and that it’s consistent. He also pointed out that we transferred a cavitating morula for my FET, and while that pregnancy was ectopic, the embryo had progressed and implanted. He also said that while my embryos were mildly behind, there was still a good chance that I’d get pregnant.
There were four other cavitating morulas that had survived to day 5 beyond the two we transferred. Dr. E told us that the lab would watch those four and that there were two other less developed morulas they would watch as well. I got the call on Wednesday that two of the cavitating morulas had made it to blastocyst stage and had been cryopreserved. That made me feel slightly better, because as the biologist pointed out, the ones that had been transferred to me had been an even higher grade. The hope is, of course, that the higher grade ones inside me are also growing.
On one hand, I’ll confess that I really had hoped for more decent embryos. On the other, we were able to transfer. We did have two decent blastocysts to freeze. And frankly, we only need one.