After being released from the RE’s office, I had about two weeks before my first OB appointment. I knew the next couple of weeks were full of work and other activities, and figured they’d pass quickly.
Then, Wednesday evening, I was leaving work after a busy day. I could feel a deep, dull, achy cramping in my lower abdomen as I got in the car to drive home. This is a fairly normal feeling during pregnancy for me after I’ve been on my feet all day. I drove home and sat down for a little bit, the feeling getting worse.
Then I felt a gush, checked, and saw a good deal of old, brown blood. I changed pads, feeling nervous, but reminding myself that this was probably due to my subchorionic hematoma. Dr. E had warned me that I probably had a bit more blood that could work its way out over the next few weeks when he’d looked at the ultrasound on Monday.
A few minutes later, another gush, soaking through the pad and darker red surprised me. I watched in dismay as more and more blood kept coming. I soaked through a couple of pads within minutes, and I decided that while I didn’t want to go to the ER at that point, the situation was enough that it warranted checking in with the on-call doctor for my OB group. The doctor on call told me it was most likely linked to the SCH, but to come in first thing in the morning and he’d check the situation out.
Fortunately, the bleeding began to slow almost as suddenly as it had started. I spent a nervous night trying to rest and reminding myself that I’d had bleeding before and the baby had been all right.
The next morning, Arthur and I headed in to the OB office to see Dr. F. He checked my cervix, which was still closed and then did the ultrasound. Baby had a beautiful heartbeat and was wiggling all over the place. Dr. F checked the measurements, and the baby was still growing and on track. We both breathed a sigh of relief.
Dr. F decided that at this point, the best thing was to go ahead and put me on bed rest for a week and see if the SCH healed or cleared up some.
Arthur and I were talking on the way home from the OB office when suddenly I found myself saying something I hadn’t expected: “I want to tell people.” My pregnancy is already more or less an open secret. The nature of my job and at times not being able to be around specific populations because of the pregnancy meant that everyone at work knew early on. Due to the IVF and all the appointments, there are a fair number of people, including our immediate families who knew we had gotten pregnant, but we hadn’t called grandparents or made it official on Facebook.
“Yeah?” asked Arthur.
“I know we’re not quite to the end of the first trimester. But we’re 11 weeks, and with me being on bed rest and absent from a lot of places, people are going to find out. I don’t have the energy to make excuses. And the ultrasound photos are beautiful and I want to be able, even if something goes wrong, to get the chance to talk about our baby. Infertility has robbed us of almost every amazing moment normal people get to have, and I want to have this one moment where we get to share our joy.”
I mean, I know I’m still in the first trimester. I know with the SCH it complicates things. I know what could happen. But I never got to really share that joy we felt at the ultrasounds with a heartbeat with the first pregnancy. I never told most people about the second ectopic miscarriage, which I kept very quiet since I knew that I was most likely going to lose the pregnancy from the moment I found out about it. This time, I needed and wanted to tell people.
So we did. Arthur and I called our respective grandparents to let them know that we are pregnant. Then we posted a text announcement to Facebook to let everyone know that we are 11 weeks pregnant, very hopeful, and about the complications/bed rest due to the bleeding and SCH. Our infertility, which I’ve also discussed publicly on Facebook, is well known. We asked for people’s prayers and thoughts that the SCH would clear up and the pregnancy would continue to look healthy.
There’s a part of me that thinks I’ve lost my mind to announce so early (we always thought we wouldn’t announce publicly until 16-17 weeks) but we also know that we need the support and would need it even more if something did go wrong.
For now, I’m just resting and reading and watching movies. Next OB appointment is next week.